Office Christmas party season

Paper hats, Secret Santa, jumpers with flashing lights, tinsel everywhere you turn? It must be time for the company’s Christmas party.

I love it. The opportunity to tell bad jokes, give inappropriate presents, to poke fun at each other, to head out of the office, get tipsy and speak some truth to colleagues. Brilliant.

Here’s a list of likely events that will happen on the Christmas night out, in no particular order:

1. Middle aged men will wear what they think is their best shirt. This will actually be a horrendous attempt at fashion

2. Girls will wear their sparkly-est top / dress (FYI 10,000 sequins and a 2cm thick layer of make-up doesn’t actually make you more attractive).

3. You will talk to someone you’ve never spoken to before. 

1. People will say things they wouldn’t normally say.

2. You’ll pretend to hear what someone said over the blaring bass and novelty saxophonist and smile or laugh at totally the wrong moment even though they are shouting right into your ear.

3. Someone will spit on you when they talk.

4. Someone will eye you up

5. You’ll eat crap volovants that you wouldn’t normally go anywhere near.

6. You’ll drink more than you thought you would.

7. You’ll find out something about a colleague that you never knew

8. You will eye someone up.

9. Someone will be VERY greedy with the welcome mimosas

10. Someone will gate crash

11. You will hear some gossip

12. There will be some bad and inappropriate dancing (be careful or you’ll regret that grinding in the morning)

Ho ho ho! Enjoy the party!

Oh and by the way – the next time people are back in the office some stuff will happen there too:

1. People will stop and talk to each other more than usual

2. There will be more smiling than before

3. You will feel more a part of the team

4. You will hear more gossip

Tis the season to be jolly! Merry flipping Christmas!