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Dysfunction 52: Weekly meetings

Yes! It was time for the eleventh most exciting moment of the week.

I really, really look forward to the teams weekly meetings. I love them.

There’s just so many reasons why:

  1. We never, ever start on time

  2. Simon normally falls asleep

  3. Everyone looks down at a printed report in order to avoid eye contact with each other

  4. John is always late because he’s like so important

  5. We all take a turn to read a couple of bullet points on the printed sheet related to what we individually were working on

  6. Jane goes on more than she needs to

  7. No-one really wants to be there

  8. Tom constantly checks his phone before and after his turn (and sometimes during)

  9. No-one asks anyone else questions

  10. There is always a fight to avoid sitting next to Stinky Pete

  11. Everyone tries to out-acronym each other

  12. It’s always the same

  13. It’s not clear what information is new, important or needs action

  14. The boss lady talks over people at regular intervals

  15. No-one understands Deepti

  16. People say what they think other people want to hear, rather than the truth

  17. Occasionally there is a mystery guest in the room who is not introduced, doesn’t speak and is then never seen again

  18. I come out of it none the wiser from when it began

Ahhh… – I already can’t wait till the next one.


I mean imagine how dysfunctional it would be if:

  1. The meetings were not run at a set time but happened as often or as in-frequently as needed

  2. It started on time

  3. We focused on sharing new or critically important information

  4. Information was circulated before the meeting so we could read it and prep questions in advance

  5. No-one took their phones into the meeting room

  6. We constantly tweaked the format in order to make it the most effective

  7. Everyone was present and engaged

  8. Any actions were clearly articulated and owners agreed

  9. Everyone was working together towards a common goal

  10. You left the meeting better informed than before it started

  11. People looked at each other, and maybe even smiled

  12. There was mutual respect shown for the person talking and people waiting till they’d finished speaking before chipping in

  13. Everyone got straight to the point. No bullsh*t

Just imagine…

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