Ignoring people.
Respecting your own agenda.
Pushing ideas because you believe in them.
Shutting people down before they finish speaking.
Not replying to voicemails and emails.
Talking over colleagues.
Rolling your eyes when others talk.
Checking your phone in meetings when someone wants your attention.
If you’ve done these things I would suggest that you have indeed been an asshole.
Maybe not intentionally. Maybe your self awareness is low. Maybe you just got out of the wrong side of the bed. Maybe you don’t give a crap either way?
Following this course is too easy. Unfortunately.
Ignorance (those moments when you choose to pretend not to notice a comment or react to a person or situation), definitely takes less effort and energy than actively engaging. This may not be intentional, sometimes you probably don’t even slow down long enough to think about it. But by following this path you’re causing damage. To colleagues. To fellow humans. To yourself.
Taking a different path, one where you try to actively listen, to avoid judgement, to consider an outward mindset and look for ways to help the other person takes more effort, takes energy and time so why bother?
Well, if you don’t you fail. You fail your job. You fail your organisation (who put their trust in you). You fail humanity.
I know that sounds grandiose, but it’s a self fulfilling prophecy, the more you’re an asshole to others the more people will be assholes to you. And that doesn’t sound like a very nice place to work to me.
So…don’t be an asshole. It might be easy, but it’s also lazy and shitty and you’ll be doing yourself a disservice. You can do better. You are better. So do just that – be better.